Relink @ xoxo-mariasocorro.blogspot
P.S/ Blog will not be updated anymore.
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
14 November 2008, 7:06 PM
Somehow everything is screwed up, everything is in a mess. I know that someday, everything would somehow be alright and today will just be one of those bad days. I'd be smiling and laughing, feeling at ease, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Everything would be fine, the bad times of the past would just be 'experience'. How I yearn for that beautiful day to come..
Brokenhearted, sad, confused and angry. I want to cry it all out so that I'd feel much better. But here I am, emotionless. I'm sick of doing little things to make myself happy, to comfort others when they're down so that they can be happy. And no, it's not that I'm forced to be there for you. I want to. But is anybody here for me when I need them? Is anybody even trying to make me happy? No! But why am I so bothered to make sure their life is going on smoothly? Why do I rush down to just be there during their bad times? It's their life, not mine right? Why do I even freaking care?! Why do I have to be like a counselor to them when no one even bothers bout me?! Why can't I just ignore them and let them solve their own problem?
I tell myself to open up my feelings, not to be a coward and hide them. And when I thought/think I like this particular someone, he has a girlfriend. Gosh, there's something fucking seriously wrong with me. I don't know what's so difficult bout liking someone who likes me. I can't seem to understand myself. I wish that we make the decision on who to like, not our heart. Cuz the heart is dumb. The heart only follows feelings. It doesn't care who the person is.
And when I want to find someone to talk to, I just look through my phone book and MSN contact list, wondering who could I talk to. I just look through over again and again and again. But there seem to be no one. I don't understand why when there are problems, people start looking for me and when I'm the one having a problem, there is no one. One good reason why life is unfair.
& yadayada, my life sucks so much it's not even sad.